Stuck in a loop of angry thoughts.
Going over and over scenarios, yelling at the injustice of it all.
I can’t believe they did that. I can’t believe this is happening.
How could they be so hurtful, stupid, unaware?
Do you find yourself in this quagmire of boggy, dense thinking? Maybe it helps to go talk it out, figure it out or tell your best friend, but it still remains.
Things stay until they have been fully seen, felt and acknowledged. Until then, it’s drama time.
Or maybe you tell others so they get on your side and you have company in the drama (as opposed to getting support which is different).
It doesn’t get resolved. In fact, what we resist, persists and gets stronger.
- That boss that says those snide remarks and is never happy? Repressed anger.
- That neighbour that road-rages? Repressed anger.
- That one friend that gossips non-stop, is judgy and competitive? Repressed anger.
- The one who is oh-so-nice and perfect, you can’t even find one flaw. Repressed anger.
All you have to do is watch the news to see misdirected rage and how that plays out on the world stage. It goes out or it goes in.
You see, there is nothing wrong with anger. It is only how we have learned to either hide it or spray-hose it all over the house or others.
If it doesn’t go out, it gets turned inwards and this is far more likely with women.
We self-criticize and shame. We go into a freeze state in those times when we most want to speak out. We start going to war inside ourselves that we could have done better, handled it differently or said it the right way.
We go into the head and disconnect from the body. It can never be healed in the head.
Let me tell you a few things about anger/rage that you might not know.
Anger is a protective energy. It protects from the outside, and it also protects us with a lid on shame, fear and sadness inside. What an amazing ally!
Anger contains the wisdom of what you are entitled to. It shows us where either our boundaries have been crossed or a need has not been met because your inner self knows I am worthy of this.
It mobilizes us to get what we need. To be seen. To be heard. To get a raise. To be respected. To have safety. To the right to live your life as you want.
Anger connects us with our true desires when we start to look beyond it to it’s root. To heal it is often far easier than you think when we start directing some kind, curious attention towards it.
It is the energy of mobilization, and imagine if all women had access to the energy of mobilization and creation, what a different world it would be.
But there might be some clearing out to do first. Past trauma lives in the body and works in memory networks so what is being triggered in the present might lead back to all the times you were disrespected.
But once that is complete, here are 2 really good reasons to harness and focus your mobilizing energy we call anger:
- Asserting and holding the strength and power of your boundaries (which are really only energy management).
- Healthy mobilization towards pursuing your desires and know that you are worthy of them.
This is what can happen when we have drained the swamp and channel this energy into creation.
We just have to clear out the conditioning that is in the way.
I will give you a couple of questions to start working with, and if you feel called to release the stuck, stored survival stress of anger in your body, join me this Saturday online for a Solstice Breathwork Journey: Come Alive in 2025.
Anger contains our aliveness, our vitality, our life force that stands up to protect, to create a new world.
The opposite is the freeze, shutdown, numbing out and disconnecting. Then we lose our impact and our passion. Our aliveness.
I don’t want that for you or any of us. I want you to come alive.
Here are some questions to ponder:
How was anger expressed growing up?
How did your family respond to anger?
Was it expressed and resolved safely?
Did you have an example of conscious, safe expression?
I’ll be honest, I haven’t met anyone that answered yes to the last 2 questions. So, the question becomes:
What have you learned about the expression of anger in yourself?
This could be the key to your healing. Underneath the lid may lie more vulnerable feelings like loss, sadness or fear. That’s ok, we can then release them as well.
Midlife seems to be a time when this comes to a head and women want to move. We want to heal and let go and move into the final chapter feeling good. Feeling alive.
This type of breathwork is the most powerful way I have ever learned or experienced to bypass the gates of the mind and enter into the body and subconscious mind. And I have learned a lot of methods!
I hope you will join me this Saturday online at 3pm PST for a special breathwork journey where we can close the chapter on this year with a loving, caring and kind approach to the anger that is buried inside and come alive in our bodies for 2025.
To your aliveness,
Madeleine
ps. I made this 4 minute video this morning on my walk about this very topic:
