Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email
Share on linkedin

Why I Love Jealousy…

 

We’ve all been there… your friend has a huge accomplishment, your co-worker loses those 40 pounds, someone you know goes on a dream trip,  a friend’s child excels …… and oh, all those smiley photos on Facebook. Uggh! You want to be happy, but you have a gnawing sense of envy in the pit of your stomach that prevents you from being 100% ecstatic about someone else’s joy.

 

I have spoken to many people about this “compare to despair” thing. It only seems to create angst and anxiety, yet we seem unable to NOT go there. Well, I used to also compare all the time, until I looked closer to see what exactly was happening. Here’s what I found:

 

  1. The idea that other’s have it better, bigger, happier or (fill in the blank) is simply untrue. Underneath, in everyone’s life, there is also another side. We are all human after all.
  2. I found I felt jealous ONLY when I didn’t feel so good myself. This just highlighted a feeling that was already there. Facebook didn’t do it to me. No-one else can put a feeling in you.
  3. Jealousy can be a signpoint, not only to how you might be feeling, but also where you would like to grow in your own life. If you want to lose those pounds, do it. If you want to run a marathon, train.
  4. When we can be happy for others, we are happier ourselves and vice versa. I started being happy no matter what, wallowing in their joy and accomplishments, and even bragging about them to others 😉 It felt really good to be proud of all the amazing people out there. After a while, jealousy loses it’s grip.

 

Try it. Notice where you feel envious. Is there a gift there for you? Either a signpost to where you might be feeling not enough that needs some self-care or attention, or where you would like to go. Don’t feel bad, embrace it. We’re all human. 

 

Have a great week,

Madeleine

 

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Madeleine's Most Recent Posts

When I Gave Up..

Well, “gave up” is not quite accurate.  More like.. surrendered, sunk into the dep womb belly of my life in this moment, deep into my own body.  I embodied myself.  I wish I could say it was all sunshine and rose, but of course that was not the case.  There

Read More »

Life is Patiently Waiting… This Changes Everything

This will turn everything that you have been taught on it’s head.  I want to tell you about THE most important step that often gets bypassed, that we completely overlook as valuable, and most often leads to all our problems and dissatisfaction.  It is the act of receiving. Not just

Read More »

You are Your Own Guru

If there is one thing human beings are not running short of, it’s gurus.  We have been worshipping idols from the beginning, and it’s not the worshipping itself that is problematic. In fact, it can be wonderful to find a person, character, archetype or God who embodies what resonates with

Read More »

Aging in Seasons

I was in a grocery store the other day and I was eavesdropping in on a conversation between an elderly woman and a young sales clerk. This young man listened intently to the woman and her question, and it expanded into a full conversation about her life, where she lived,

Read More »

Subscribe For Peaceful Insights

Top Posts

Want To Know The Truth About Anxiety?

Madeleine’s Archived Posts