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Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Finding Your Aliveness at Midlife: Key #3

You are not a problem to be fixed, you are a human to hold. 

These words came to me years ago when I battled with anxiety and fought against symptoms like a warrior going to battle. 

I realized that the answer to inner peace lay not with fighting what was wrong, but by laying down the arms and embracing what my body and mind were achingly trying to express. 

The more we resist parts of ourselves, emotions or beliefs, the harder they fight. Like a young child crying out for attention, our bodies and emotions do the same. 

In a world where we have been conditioned to believe that only certain emotions can be shown, and only certain parts of us are approved of, this leaves us to live only half a life. The half that can be shown to the world and the other half in shadow.

Feeling worthy and alive has to involve the whole. Worthiness and aliveness is wholeness. 

You see, what we have been told is success is largely 2-dimensional. You are multi-dimensional and every time you contract into the 2D box you feel anxiety. 

The world requires the weeds, the fungi and the compost to survive. Every animal species from the worm to the lion is necessary. Just as every part of you from the dandelions to the roses is a crucial part of the whole.

Becoming alive is not becoming another person. It is the gentle unfolding of the human soul that lives inside you. Don’t go looking for her, she will be revealed as you strip away the layers of conditioning and embrace what is hidden. 

Emotional diversity, feeling ALL the emotions as they rise, is your birthright. Not only that, this can save your life. 

Emotions suppressed inside a body, in your heart and stomach, create dis-ease. Anxiety, tension, pain and illness. This is good medicine to feel the parts of you that have been exiled. 

The young girl, the teenager, the rebel, the angry one, the greedy one, the controller, the quiet one. You have so many parts and perhaps only like a few of them. 

What is there in the quiet moments of your life? Does anger, guilt, regret or shame rear it’s head? Each part has a beautiful purpose to be expressed but sadly most of them get stuck. 

Do you react to people you see as greedy, loud and angry, self-centred, proud or boastful? 

These triggers are also a part of you. 

Your greed is your desire. 

Your anger is your protector.

You can be loud, soft, proud, self-focussed and celebrate yourself!

They are all parts of you that are resisted. Set them free.

Allow yourself to flow into a journal, a therapist or to the trees. Mother Nature can hold and digest them for you so you can breathe again. 

The incredible beauty of coming alive is calling you. It’s not a halfway job, it’s a full-on, light and dark, good, bad and everything in between job. 

Then you realize that you are none of it. Everything is a passing state and you have the emotional flexibility to ride the wave. 

This creates a fully alive, resilient, robust system to live in. 

I love that you are coming alive! 

Embrace everything inside you and our next key will be about embracing what is outside of you. This might be a bigger challenge. 

You are not a problem to be fixed, you are a human to hold. 

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