Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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One Simple Shift Out of Fear

“She’s so..  he always… she’ll never… I always… “

The list goes on.

Have you ever stopped to notice how much you assume, judge and predict the world based on the past?

It’s a natural human tendency. We had to predict danger and assess our environment in order to survive.

But is it holding you in stuck patterns with yourself and others?

Do you wake up living in paradigms made in the past?

When we judge others, we keep them small.

When we judge ourselves harshly, we keep ourselves small.

No-one ever really improved by being bullied. Especially you.

Judging and bullying may produce a temporary change, but it’s always done out of fear. Think of a child. We can scare them into change, but that behaviour change is now done out of external fear, not from an inner desire and knowing that they also want this change, that it will serve them. Fear begets more fear.

We expand and improve by noticing and understanding ourselves and others.

Often our judgements about others are reflections of shameful parts of ourselves that we keep hidden. 

To make this shift, we need to move from judgement to curiosity.

You might be surprised by what you find.  We often judge out of fear.

Fear for ourselves…

“Why did I say that stupid thing? They won’t like me now.”

“I can’t believe I made that mistake. I’ll lose my job.”

or fear about others. 

“Look at what they’re wearing, what will people think?”

“If they don’t exercise, they might get sick, or die young.”

This kind of judging goes on all the time in our minds. It can create havoc and prevent you from being present, open to change and most of all letting people be who they are, live their lives and make their own choices. 

Here’s the shift:

When you can be mindful enough to notice this inner judging, slow down and get curious.

What is the fear?

Is it about yourself? (not measuring up, feeling threatened, worried).

Or is it about others? (and is this your business?).

Today, when you notice yourself tensing, withdrawing or judging:

Get curious. Herein lies the gold, the magic, the only place you can find freedom, within you!!

Shift from judgement to curiosity and the whole world opens up.

Let me know how it goes in the comments below. I always love to hear from you.

Madeleine

 

Work with me:

I want more for you. I want you to wake up feeling excited and inspired with the possibilities of the future. Not living from the past, repeating the same damn thing because you did it yesterday and 10 years ago.

If you want to go further with this,  there are 5 days left to join the summer Fear to Freedom 5 week online course in mindfulness for anxiety. I have added more support, more teaching and more guidance from me throughout the whole course and you will have lifetime access to these timeless teachings.

Here is the link:

Fear to Freedom Summer 2019

If you are in my area, you might also want to join me in a 2 hour workshop on the timeless teachings of yoga and how to apply them directly to you daily life right here:

 

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