Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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Finding Your Extremes to Find Your Centre

Happy Spring Equinox!

If this seems like an unusual title for a mindfulness blog, stay with me. 

So often we live our lives based on “this is ok, and that is not.”

Think right now of all the things you deem acceptable, and what you spend energy working against. 

It is noble to work for a good cause, to work for the elimination of racism, poverty, abuse… AND… do you know that you can also experience joy, happiness and optimism within the same frame and it is ok. 

It is the ground in between both extremes where everything can happen. 

I have lived a lot in the extremes which brought me to the gift of mindfulness and out of the struggle of the ego in the first place. I think if I hadn’t needed it so much, I would not be able to be here writing to you. 

As a yoga teacher I teach a lot of stretch and relax (yin), but I also embrace the intensity of hard work and effort (yang). 

Emotionally when we are ok with both ends of the spectrum you see you are so much bigger than both and you don’t have to work against, judge, criticize or resist either.  

Ahhhhh. Freedom.

Sometimes we need to go to the depths of despair to realize the heights of joy.

Sometimes we need to go to the extreme outside edges of busyness in order to fall flat and rest our bodies.

It’s not about the extremes, it’s about staying conscious and aware of where you are on the continuum.

There is nothing wrong with high intensity emotion or exercise if that is what your body is calling for. It shows us the beautiful place of rest.

When we open to everything, we find there is no one right way, there is only ever this moment.

There is no actual, specific way to live. You are only here to listen to your own unfolding. Your connection with what you need is the highest you and you are far bigger than any of your triggers to resist anything.

There is not one way.

For every one “right” way you can google 10 opinions against that way and for another way. 

It is madness to follow someone else’s way, you have your own way. And your own way will change. 

The only thing that matters is if you can know where you are on the continuum and breathe.  How do you know? Feel your heart beat, notice your breath and how you are feeling.

I don’t care what your parents, your best friend or spouse thinks is right for you, you are the only one that can know. 

Become aware and make the next best choice. Be aware of 2 things: judging yourself for it, or tension in your body.

Awareness and choice are the only 2 steps you ever need to take. 

What are you bracing against?

What are you spending energy fighting against?

Move towards it so you can work with it, include it in your experience and guess what… life becomes easier and you will open up space for so much more good energy to come in. 

All is welcome here does not mean we allow abuse or we surrender to lying on the couch forever. 

Everything has a place in the world, something to teach us… until it doesn’t. 

It means we open up to a self, a body and a life that is far bigger than our small view of what is “right” and so much more energy to create.

If that’s not enough, here is a video I made for a group last week after working with a number of people struggling with relationships.  Embracing the Wholeness of Life. 

May you move from bracing to embracing all that life has to offer you. 

Move from “either-or” to “yes-and”.

Lots of love,

Madeleine

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