Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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The Problem with Reinventing Yourself: Lessons from Rocketman

Have you ever wanted to be someone else?

Perhaps as a child, you aspired to be a celebrity, a politician (ack!) or the girl/guy down the street?


It’s a wonderful thing to imagine what we can be as we grow and evolve into who we are today, but what happens when we reject who we were, what we are running away from, even if it was very painful?

I never see movies twice, but I was compelled to see ‘Rocketman’, a movie about the life of Elton John twice.. and I would go again if I had time.

Aside from the remarkable story of overcoming odds, a tremendously difficult childhood and giving the world his incredible innate gifts which came at a cost,  there was something that stood out for me that we talk about alot here at MLN and also in my  Facebook group ‘Reclaim Your True Self’ which is where you can join in the discussion right here: http://bit.ly/2XA7Kvi.

Elton John was told early in his career by a fellow musician “You have to kill the person you were to become who you are now”.  Taking this advice he changed his name, his appearance, his persona and took on a personality to express himself in his own personal style, at least on stage…. crazy outrageous, flamboyant, and absolutely, positively unique!

He was encouraged to let go of his painful past, his parents, his childhood, his name, and embrace a new identity, a new person, a ‘new’ life. He gave up on Reginald Kenneth Dwight and became Elton John.

He put on a mask, literally in some cases, and lived from who he felt he should be, not who he was.

But can we ever really do that in this life?

Can we ever really re-invent who we are?

Can we let go of the child inside that was hurt, rejected, abandoned, unloved?

We can cover them up, judge them, exile them, reject them and turn them away.

But not forever. 

They are still there. Watching and waiting. With all their feelings, buried alive. 

We’ve all done this to some extent, just because we had to in order to grow, function and live. Do you know what I mean? We learn at a young age who, and what is acceptable, and what is not.

But unknowingly we become a prisoner to them. We have to avoid places they might emerge, people who might trigger them, feelings that might be felt and come pouring out. 

In this attempt to hold them at bay we judge others harshly, turning our discomfort outwards. 

In short, neglecting or rejecting a part of ourselves that we find distasteful, painful or even disgusting creates a lifetime of fear and tension and often comes with the belief that “I am not enough”. This is simply because we have to keep proving and defending and rationalizing who we are trying to be, in order to escape who we really are as a whole person.

In the end of the movie, in his therapy circle at the addiction centre he signed himself into, Elton John welcomes and embraces his little Reginald Dwight who has been standing on the edge of the group, an outcast watching and waiting to be seen, heard and loved.

He knew that in order to truly heal, not just mask his past deep hurts with drugs, alcohol, costumes and sex, he would eventually have to welcome, embrace and love all parts of himself.  Even his little inner child.

He sees, recognizes and welcomes Reginald Kenneth Dwight in to the circle, hugs him close and fills a whole in himself. 

At last,  he is home.

It is the same with us, with who and what we reject inside ourselves. The qualities we judge and revile, will always cause tension and anxiety until they ar revealed, felt and embraced. We can try to hide, change and re-invent ourselves but a much more lasting way to end anxiety is to love and embrace who we truly are. 

I have helped so many people overcome anxiety by beginning with this seemingly simple act of acceptance. Letting go of control and resistance to what is, and what has been. 

It is a beautiful and sometimes painful process, but the outcome is the butterfly who fights and struggles and sheds the cocoon they didn’t even know they were in. 

 

The thing is, that when we dig deep into the core of who we truly are and let go of the masks, the false beliefs and the fears we learned in earlier life, we become the truth of who we are: pure, unconditional love, freedom and acceptance. If this seems like a tall order, let me tell you that you already know this, and that you have already had this experience, perhaps in glimpses. It is not a belief, it is an experience.

 

There is no way around it for true transformation. There is only through fear to the freedom that waits for you on the other side.

 

If you feel stuck, tired and anxious and ready for a change, I am excited to announce a summer version of my Fear to Freedom online course. This course has more interaction, more support and waaay more teaching of information and tools to help you move through anxiety and feel more clear, powerful and confident by the fall,

There are a few things that are essential to making change: having a path and having a guide. This course is designed to give you that and more, and all the material is yours to keep so you can go back and repeat as many times as you like or need.

You can check it out right here. Below you will find everything you will learn this summer. 

Your commitment is one video class per week and 10-15 minutes of practice each day. 

I will also be teaching live each week and be available for questions and discussion as we go along. 

I love this class and I hope to see you in it!

Is this the summer you break free from fear?

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