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Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

The Power of Asking

“Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.”

Helen Keller

 

Do you try to do things all on your own?

Does the thought of asking for help cause discomfort and anxiety?

Do you think needing help (even subconsciously) means you are weak or not efficient?

 

The truth is that we all rely on each other all the time. We can’t do it all alone. Even though the saying goes “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me” is true when it comes to our own peace and happiness, you will find that at a certain point things accelerate and expand when you include others.

 

I was brought up to be pretty darn self-sufficient, so recently when I realized some of my biggest and smallest projects would require support from other people, I hesitated. Everything I knew about the hazards of going solo went out the window. It felt vulnerable to ask for help. So the projects stood still. For awhile. 

 

Then I had to take a lead for a non-profit I am involved with in asking for donations of goods and money. It had to be done. So I took a deep breath and asked. It wasn’t so bad and the outcome was good, so I asked some more. Then some more. Some said yes, some said no, but I kept asking. Then I made a whole list of tasks to delegate to others that were more skilled in certain areas to ask them for help.

 

Momentum built and I made it a goal to make one ‘ask’ every day. The results were better than I had anticipated. This has changed my whole outlook on asking for help. What I discovered:

  • many people want to help if given a chance
  • everyone listened, even if they said no
  • there are so many resources out there, one often lead to another…
  • the breadth of people’s skills and knowledge was wider than I imagined
  • asking makes you strong, not weak

… and most astonishing of all, the more I asked, the better I felt. I felt part of something bigger, even if it was a ‘NO’.  Strange.

 

What about you? How do you feel about asking others to be involved in a project, to make a donation, to support you, to do you a favour? Breathe and notice mindfully what comes up for you. Are there some old archaic beliefs there holding you back? Here’s your chance to bust free of them.

 

Make one ask. Or set one boundary. Today. Let me know how it goes.

 

Madeleine

 

 

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