Author picture

Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

The Limits of Mindset Change

“Just don’t think about it.”

“Change your thoughts.. think positive!”

“Don’t be such a downer.. “

Have you ever heard this? How does it make you feel when you are worried, or keep re-playing events or situations in your mind? Or if you have recurring body tension, sick feelings or fear about certain events or people?

There is a lot written out there about mindset and changing your thoughts to change your life.

Some of it great, some of it just, well, too simplistic.

It doesn’t take into account the experience of someone who has had trauma, big or small, and has continuous racing negative thoughts that are actually designed to keep them safe and protect them, even though they cause more anxiety and depression.

To put it simply: survival responses trump everything, and these are felt in the body and the mind.

When we have pain, our survival response is to fight it, get away from it, sort it out, and avoid more pain.

This comes in the form of body tension, body responses like tightness and nausea, and fearful, judgemental thoughts.

“Why did they do that to me?” “I hate this pain.” “I’m such an idiot.” “I’ll never, she always, he never, my life sucks….”

Don’t get me wrong, there is so much power in noticing and shifting thoughts to better reflect the truth.

There is power in gratitude and making this shift can be life-changing, as the mind will always default to “what is wrong”.

But if you have recurring thoughts, images, sensations that cause discomfort, sometimes no amount of changing thoughts will get to the root. In fact, it’s putting a bandaid on a scab that will get picked again.

In my work, I rather teach people to go into body sensations, to see what needs to be healed, to accept, love, and heal parts of themselves and their lives. Then the thoughts change naturally.

For example, I had a client who had recurring feelings of fear around dinnertime. She told herself “This is ridiculous, there’s nothing wrong, don’t be so silly” and other judgemental thoughts. But the feelings continued, until we looked directly at what was happening and healed childhood trauma that was triggered around extremely stressful dinnertimes with a tyrant father.

Change your thoughts? I don’t think so here. Heal your trauma.

Do you have recurring thoughts or sensations about a particular situation or person?

What is that thought trying to protect you from? A part of yourself waiting to be seen and healed?

Everything that triggers us is reflecting a part that we are resisting or rejecting. Let’s move towards being whole.

If you are still wanting to join my course Empath Sanctuary, we begin tomorrow! There are 2 spots left so if you are sitting on the fence, grab one now.

I am more interested in real healing than band-aid solutions.

Here are all the details: Click on the image below:

https://mindfullivingnow.mykajabi.com/empath-sanctuary-sales-page-2

 

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Madeleine's Most Recent Posts

Finding Your Aliveness at Midlife: Key #3

You are not a problem to be fixed, you are a human to hold.  These words came to me years ago when I battled with anxiety and fought against symptoms like a warrior going to battle.  I realized that the answer to inner peace lay not with fighting what was

Read More »

Finding Your Aliveness at Midlife: Key #2

In my first post about awakening your aliveness at midlife I shared how you have never been done before in your own unique way, so you won’t find yourself out there. But you will find images that reflect you and light up something inside you. Follow that. But you might

Read More »

Discovering Your Aliveness at Midlife

    What is alive within you, waiting to be uncovered, nourished and explored? This is a question that often arrives for women at midlife, when the end of this journey is just over the mountain, and we are halfway there if we are lucky.  It is often a time,

Read More »

How We Get Expansion and Authenticity Wrong

In these times of ever-increasing inter-connectedness and change, we are realizing more and more how everything and everyone is connected.  Whether you are in the spiritual world, the social world or the world of physics and science, we return time and time again to the fact that we are all

Read More »

Subscribe For Peaceful Insights

Top Posts

Want To Know The Truth About Anxiety?

Madeleine’s Archived Posts