Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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The surprising thing about mindfulness you never expected: Spoiler alert!

Mindful Holiday Challenge is coming soon!  Because, as they say “If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family” Eckhart Tolle

Breathe to Heal: Tonight (Monday) 8-9pm at Kula Wellness. 3 more classes! $15: Come & breathe & relax tension. 

Last news: I am delighted to be asked to be a guest on the ‘Come Up Podcast’ on Dec. 4th.  This podcast interviews entrepreneurs and how to do big things from a small community. Tune in!

 

Warning: This post contains symbols that represent profanity!

 

The other day I was talking to someone about my mindfulness class and he stated “You must have a really calm house”. I laughed… and almost spit out my tea. Calm? You’ve got to be kidding.. here’s the secret not many teachers will tell you: mindfulness will f%$& you up. But in a good way. Perhaps I should say it shakes things up.

Don’t go away yet! It’s true. Relationships unravel. Priorities shift. Behaviours change. Jobs change. I’ve seen it happen, sometimes quickly, sometimes over a long time. Once you start seeing yourself and others more clearly, you can’t unsee. You can’t ignore the truth. And it’s sometimes ugly.

So, do I have a calm house? No, my husband and I argue more..truth is acknowledged but it is over quicker and painlessly avoiding the build up of resentments. I can pick and choose what is important. I can see my faults, where I screw up, and ask for forgiveness. I can feel my feelings (not always fun). I can sit with things until they become clear (really not fun). I can feel my kids feelings better (double that) and I can see my blind spots better (there’s a reason some spots are blind :)). 

 

There’s no escaping being human if you are here.

 

On the other side: I can see my own stories (funny sometimes) without reacting, I can choose what feels right, I know that overall All is Well, and I can enjoy the ride. I can love others more as they are and let go of a lot. Most of all I know without a doubt that “A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.” — James Allen… women too!

 

One of the biggest myths of mindfulness is that you will achieve a calm, centred self that is untouchable. This could not be farther from the truth.  Mindfulness teaches us to see clearly, without the veil of thought, perception or assumption. There’s a reason we develop denial! 

 

The paradox is that life indeed does get better. It gets rich with the texture of colours, touch, joy, pain, beauty, hurt, and the curiosity about what makes us human which is far from perfect.  Indeed, mindfulness f%$#*s things up.

 

 

Here are some practices to start now: 

Train Your Brain to Tame Holiday Stress and Anxiety

 

Have a great week!

Madeleine

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “The surprising thing about mindfulness you never expected: Spoiler alert!”

  1. Thanks for the Eckhart Tolle quote! Just spent a week with my sister….yup!
    I’m in England being a visitor…it puts a perspective on who you are, makes me exist in the moment for more hours a day than I am comfortable with!
    Thanks for your insights.

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