Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email
Share on linkedin

Honesty as Treatment for Pain and Suffering

“What’s wrong with a little white lie?” 

You have probably heard that, or said it yourself. A little lie never hurt anyone. That might be true in some cases, and this is not a moralistic issue here, it’s a health issue. 

We have ALL learned to lie. To ourselves, to others, to the world. It is the mask we wear. 

It only becomes a problem when it becomes a problem. 

The biggest lies I see and feel in myself are about how we feel. And I also know the healing that occurs when we get honest with ourselves. Everything changes. 

For example, you are angry or hurt. Do you say:

It’s not that bad. 

Others have it worse. 

They didn’t know what they were doing. 

Don’t rock the boat. 

OR, talk to everyone else except the person you most need to talk to.  This is drama. And trauma. 

In Dr. Gabor Mates work with illness, he says again and again, there are certain personalities who get sick. Basically the ones who don’t feel and express their own needs first. 

Now, doesn’t that sound contrary to what the world has taught you? To give, be selfless, don’t hurt feelings, keep the peace?

One of the biggest issues in your own health is healthy expression and setting clear boundaries. Or we get sick. Period. 

Don’t worry, here’s the thing. 

It’s never too late to start again. 

You have the right to choose anew at any time. 

This week I had to say NO to 2 projects I was involved in that no longer aligned with where I am now, and also NO to 2 events beckoning me forward. 

This is the process of becoming more aligned with life. Your natural state that lies beyond the shoulds and obligations of your conditioning. 

Not to mention, the big pile of research on healing anxiety and chronic pain conditions with expression of difficult emotions. Turns out this also affects our children because if we are not being truthful with others and setting clear boundaries,  chances are they aren’t either. 

This is a learning journey, you are a learning, growing human being. 

And this is one of the most important lessons I would teach everyone I work with if I could. 

So go ahead. Get honest. At least with yourself. 

Say or write “I am SO f#$%$# angry right now”, “I feel so ashamed, or hurt”, “Wow, I am SO sad.”, “I’m scared.”.

Say it to the trees, to the sky, cry it out, yell it out, let the energy move through your body. Let go of blame and step into full responsibility for what is moving through your own body. 

Cry. Move, Shake. Feel. 

And when you are empty, rest. 

Beautiful. This is true honesty. 

The next day you will feel completely different and you will know what to do, if anything. 

And if you want more of this good stuff, join a womb breathwork journey with me, where new things are birthed. 

I’ll keep you posted on the next one.

Lots of love,





Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Madeleine's Most Recent Posts

A New Kind of Anger

Most of the women I work with who are stuck in people-pleasing mode, have difficulty expressing, or even locating the emotion of anger.  There is a link. A very important one.  Seeing as anger is a life-force energy designed to protect and alert the system that something is wrong, not

Read More »

How Do You Age Gracefully When You’re So Angry?

You don’t, is the short answer.  First of all, the phrase “aging gracefully” just pisses me off. Why? Because it sends a message that women are supposed to age in smooth, flowing, ballet dancer style.  Not the stop-and-start, messy, sometimes scary and angry and often hilarious way we live.  Oh

Read More »

My Experiment in Timelessness

This summer I had the opportunity to spend 4 days at my cabin alone.  What I thought would be a time of rest and relaxation, perhaps invite some company, do some work, turned into a whole lot more. And a whole lot less. I noticed when this time arrived I

Read More »

The Beauty and Danger of Labels

Where are you free of labels? In a crowd or by yourself in nature? “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”   Ralph Waldo Emerson I have to agree with Ralph. This is the work of a lifetime. To find out who you truly are rather than what you have been told.  I went for a run

Read More »

Subscribe For Peaceful Insights

Top Posts

Want To Know The Truth About Anxiety?

Madeleine’s Archived Posts