Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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Go small to go big, or FOMI

“The only place we can truly change anything is within ourselves. And as we change, the world outside us changes with us.”

Sarah Susanka

 

We hear a lot about FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) these days with the rise of facebook and other social media where we look and see all the great, fantastic things people are doing out there and we are missing out!

 

But what about FOMI, or the Fear of Missing In.  When we are constantly focussed on the external events, people, problems, activities, tasks and work, we don’t take time to focus on the root of everything.. why we do the things we do, what are our motivations, fears, insecurities, habits, true joys. All this is found inside.

 

Our outside directly reflects our inside.  Your life is a direction reflection of what you prioritize. Where you choose to focus becomes your life. If you focus solely on the negative, how can life be positive? If you focus on an end goal, you miss the steps in between. As an example, after decades of practicing yoga and reaching advanced, challenging poses, my body started to whisper. My shoulder and hip were starting to tweak pain, not from something new, but from repetitive strain and tiny misalignments along the way that I was not mindful of. I had been so focussed on the extremities of my arms and legs reaching for an external goal, I had ignored the most important, subtle foundation of the breath and the foundation. You can only do that for so long before something gives.. your body, your relationships, your work. 

 

Go back to the foundation.. where all action springs from. Use mindfulness to go back into yourself and ask.. am I ok? Am I taking care of myself in this moment or am I trying to be someone or something I am not? Is my breath steady and deep, indicating I am present and not stressing my nervous system?

 

It is humbling to slow down and take stock. I now reach just as far as I can, and then back off a touch. This is far more challenging than following the ego. In the end, I go further.

 

It is the same in life.

 

Practice: Where are you stressed and what is truly important? You will probably find the really important things are not too far away.   

 

Go back inside to what is more important. What am I striving for and why? What are my crazy thoughts? What am I feeling? How am I reacting and why? Go deeper to go farther. You may find things change on their own.

 

It is only there that we can make real, true change in the external world. Otherwise we are flailing about on the yoga mat missing the point. 

 

A sign of a truly spiritual person is not how much they meditate, go to church or pray. It is how they treat the people closest to them, their relationships and themselves.  Go within, back home to what is important. It’s not the house, the fitness level, the money, the appearance, at all. Go back in, don’t fear missing out. 

 

With love,

Madeleine

 

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