Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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Four words that can change your life…

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Do you look at your day/week/hour and have a sense of dread or excitement? In my last post we talked about the “I’ll be happy when…” syndrome, and how to find fulfillment in your day-to-day life. Well, today I’d like to take it one step further. When you have started to feel some sense of fulfillment right here and now, you can approach life differently. If we are coming from a sense of lack ie. I’m not happy yet, we approach life with that sense of neediness, unfulfilled lack…not cool.  With the question of “What can I get?“. (Ahem, in other words “How can this person/place/thing fulfill me?”). This will lead to further frustration and unfulfillment as we know that true happiness doesn’t reside anywhere outside, remember? But unfortunately that is how our society is set up.. to acquire, want more, be more. Let’s turn that on it’s head. Ready?

 

Try this on: “What can I give?”. Not, I must give away my time and energy to others, but rather… how can I give to the situation, person, workplace, that will help me to also feel fulfilled? We know that when we give we feel better. It’s like a burst of antidepressant for the brain. Even if you don’t feel like you have anything to give (my hunch, honey, is that you do!), fake it ’til you make it. Your presence is enough because you are enough, right?

I had a person in my life that demanded a lot of emotional attention (ie. compassion!).  You know, the draining people that will suck you dry, we all have them. I had built up a lot of resentment and beliefs around the fact that they’re not there for me, they don’t care etc.. When I turned it around and could see what they needed, I gave short bursts of full-on, undivided attention with boundaries around it, and the relationship changed to a win-win.

If you have a particular situation, or individual, that you are stuck in a negative pattern with, look for what you are missing and see how you might change it for yourself by asking “What can I give?”.

Leave me a comment below and let me know how it goes in your own life.

 

Have a great week,

Madeleine

 

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6 thoughts on “Four words that can change your life…”

  1. Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful write-ups. It seems that every time I read them you send the exact one that I am needing at that time in my life 🙂

    Reply

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