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Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Experiment in Loving What Is

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The other morning I set out for a run, albeit a short one, seeing as it was -10 on the thermometer. As I approached my ‘favourite’ hill, I must have been particularly mindful as I noticed my breath shallow, and thoughts of “oh no, I hope I can do this” and ” I hate this hill” run through my mind.  I then noticed how my orientation toward my experience shifted dramatically, I actually felt weaker and unmotivated. Realizing the futility of this, I quickly shifted my attention to regulate and deepen my breath, and come into the present moment. What’s not to love about it? I am outside, I am running, I am healthy and free to do this, I could walk. Really Madeleine? With all that is going on in the world today, what part of this is truly not to love?

 

Our brains will focus naturally on what is missing, what is lacking, as Brene Brown calls it “A mindset of scarcity”, even when this is farthest from the truth. I took this forward into my day as an experiment…

Long line-up at the post office? What’s not to love about being able to send cards and presents, and seeing others do the same? 

Lots of work to finish up? What’s not to love about having a job, caring for it, tidying it up?

Busy running errands? Whaaat’s not to love about having a car, listening to music, and getting stuff done?

Dog chewed my shoe? I have a shoe, inside a warm house, where my family and dog live. 

 

I have come to see that, in most situations that arise, there is always something to love. AND, I have come to see that sometimes I make the choice not to love or accept it. Sometimes, I will stick with my victim story.

 

This doesn’t mean you have to stay in a situation,  but if it is already happening, what is your choice? Resistance creates stress and tension, and limits choice. See what moments you can love today, and let me know how it goes in the comments below,

 

Warmly,

Madeleine

 

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