Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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How are you doing?

I’m seeing a lot of emails flying around telling me what I should be feeling right now. 

Have you ever been told what you are feeling? How did that go over?

I can only ever tell you what I feel. And right now, I’m all over the place on a daily basis!

From worry and anxiety, to content and grateful for what I have, to so, so sad for what is happening in the world.

If you are anything like me (which you might not be!) it can be a bit of a rollercoaster ride. 

In times of stress, this is when we see what our coping styles are, how we respond to stress. 

What you also might see is old fears, old patterns emerging that perhaps you thought you were done with!

You are normal. 

Under stressful conditions, and this one is prolonged, we often see our old “small self” fears re-emerge. The ways we coped in the past to deal with overwhelm and helplessness. 

And, if you have an open and sensitive nervous system at the best of times, these rides can be very intense.  Life can be very intense.

It can be so intense and demanding that over time our nervous systems become frazzled and frayed. The world can seem like too much to take in, and overwhelm sets in. 

We sometimes go small into shutdown or escape mode. 

Or we yell and become big. 

Because we feel out of control inside. 

Please, whatever you ARE feeling, find a release valve so you are healing as it comes up. 

Talk, reach out, breathe very deeply, move in nature. 

Do not sit in freeze, or continue to fight/flight or fawn (take care of everyone else). 

Do something for YOUR body today that feels good, so the stress doesn’t get stuck and stored. 

Share below, are you noticing old fear responses/habits arise?

What will you do today to release it?

This is more important than you might think. 

Take care,

Madeleine

 

 

16 thoughts on “How are you doing?”

  1. I explained to a friend yesterday that I am experiencing depression and so I might not respond to texts in my usual manner-that I might not respond at all-but that I am doing my best to function. She expressed that she understood but kept trying to cheer me up. Finally, I said, “Can I just be sad? No it’s not ideal but sometimes people are sad. Please stop trying to make me feel things I cannot.” I don’t normally set a boundary so clearly, but I feel better for having done that.

    Reply
    • Kathy, I can’t think of a better way to set that boundary. So clear, so true… and maybe you gave her permission to feel her feelings as well?
      Well done!

      Madeleine

      Reply
    • Oh Madeleine! This popped up exactly when I needed it ❤️ I wondered more than ever the last few days what’s happening to me! I am all over the place! This partner I’m with is making me crazy! Every Half hour he updates me on what is happening with Covid-19 He doesn’t want me talking to a dear friend of mine (male) who has rented the upstairs apt. He has accused me of sleeping with him !!! I’ve tried different ways to handle this and it’s wearing me out. He’s always asking me what I’m doing who I’m on the phone with. Then he starts putting himself down. I’m exhausted from the stress of this, don’t want to be with him but as before, I’ve explained about needing the help. This is a highprice to pay for doing errands and walking the dog.

      Reply
      • Oh Susan, That sounds so stressful! I hope you can get outside where you are for a break and to get some fresh air.

        Take care,
        Madeleine

        Reply
  2. Dont really know how i feel.Except that it irrates me when people tell me how i shoud feel.just wont leave me alone when i ask them to.its hard with this lock down.but doing my best.if im feeling sad low thats way i feel and i think family shoud respect that

    Reply
    • Yup. Sometimes we feel low and that’s just a fact! When we have less judgement around our feelings, they just become facts.
      Take care,

      Madeleine

      Reply
  3. I too am riding the roller coaster, just as you described! From loneliness to helplessness to extreme gratefulness. Glad to know I am not the only one 🙂

    Reply
  4. I have been oddly feeling very content and extremely grateful. I feel that the universe is giving the whole humanity some kind of sign to wake up and change our actions and footprint on the Earth. I hope that our privileged society may feel more empathy for nations and individuals that live day to day and in fear all their lives.
    I’m basically perfectly in peace. I’m sure if this happened 5 years ago I would be scared and anxious and unsure of the future. But I feel that in this case I benefited from the nasty cancer thing. I live by #treasureeveryday affirmation and it works. May everyone find their peace. Because stress does not serve us well.

    Reply
  5. Some days good some days not so much.. Had a couple of days of alot of crying that has passed.Basically just allowing what comes up… I live alone and i am learning to not see that as a minus.. Feeling incredible blessed for you madeline at this moment. sheila

    Reply
    • Sheila, good to hear from you. I’m glad you are just allowing what is to come up.
      Then it can pass.

      Warmly,
      Madeleine

      Reply
  6. It is so helpful to read all the comments
    I am feeling something like Hanka I feel relaxed, calm and I am not sure why. I am taking this time to be thankful for my health, my friends ,and my wonderful family that are all healthy. I am also taking this time to clean my home one room at a time. We go for walks with our dog and enjoy the day the sound of the birds singing and all the mountains around us.
    I know that Easter will be different without the family around but we will do that later when this is all over. Thank you everyone for your thoughts.

    Reply
    • Hi Irene,
      It sounds like you are making the most of social isolation! It’s amazing what we become grateful for and what we miss.

      Take care,
      Madeleine

      Reply
  7. I just deleted a long note realizing that I can just post that I feel like Hanka does.
    I feel oddly good right now, as though there is going to be a global change of consciousness that will better the world, after this awfulness subsides.
    Thanks Mal, for what you do.
    Your work will help people through this more than you will ever know.

    Reply

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