Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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Difficult Conversation

images:breath

 

I had one goal going into a difficult conversation… to stay present. I had weighed the arguments in my head,  already proven I was right, felt my righteousness and wore it like a medal. I was ready for battle. But a small voice inside said  “stop, breathe, let go.” I knew it was right, but I fought it, protecting my ego.  And it came back.

 

I thought about the other. I thought about their own need to control and be right also. And I realized that who was right was not the point. What difference did it make if they saw it my way? At all. I let it go. I let them go.. cut ties energetically to controlling them, controlling the outcome, fixing or forcing anything.

 

I entered, ready. Feet solid and firm on the floor. Moving slowly, I breathed into every tiny contraction that hit my chest, every impulse to jump out of the moment and into reaction. And what flowed forth was words of loving-kindness, appreciation and a forthright statement of my truth, my side.

 

There was no fight, no argument, just a sharing of viewpoints. I saw them as a human being who also cares, who also needs, who also worries, who also hurts, who also loves. Not the enemy.

 

However they had reacted, it mattered not. I had no control. I let go, and I let be.

 

Smile, breathe, and go slowly,

 

Madeleine

“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

 

 

 

 

 

 

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