Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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Connecting the Dots Between Thoughts, Emotions and Behaviours

There is no one answer…. repeat after me:

There is no one answer. 

Do you find yourself trying to change your thinking because you are believing the nonsense in your head that’s not even real but then it comes back and you feel like a total loser?

Join the club. I am so tired of hearing people say it’s as simple as changing your thoughts to change your life as if it was like changing a tv channel. 

Yes, thoughts are powerful.

Yes, they tell us we suck sometimes. 

No, they are not always true. 

And the ones that speak negatively and loudly about you are certainly not true. 

How can you tell? The inner critic rampages with a finality, a judgement, that leaves no room for improvement such as “That was a failure, you never do anything right.” This is old programming.  

A healthy guilty conscience will have a softer tone and be more realistic such as “Oh boy, you could have said been a little nicer, you reacted there.”

It’s important to recognize the difference and start to work with your inner voice as a coach, not an enemy. 

But that is not the only path.

The truth is, there are so many doorways we can go through to feel better and feel more like ourselves (which is always awesome, but is sometimes sad or angry) and if what you are doing is not helpful, change it.

Do NOT follow a guru, follow yourself. 

But a little information is always helpful, right? 

Often we notice what is not working for us by:

  • how we feel in our body, or
  • in our habits that we try to change. 

What if I told you that most of the time (95%) it is the subconscious mind that is at play here and it is a million times more powerful than any conscious thought. 

That’s why it’s so hard to change.

I call the subconscious mind by another name: the body. 

Our minds, bless their cotton socks, try to figure out, protect us, or analyze to find peace.

Yes, we interpret our surroundings and what we perceive we do tend to believe. 

But those thoughts are based on SO many factors. Your memories, your history, how much sleep you got, your wants, needs and fears. 

But why not dive right in to the source. It has been discovered that most reactions, impulses and emotions arise before the story in the head. 

Here’s the thing: thoughts can arise out of emotions, and emotions can determine behaviours and behaviours are based on underlying needs. 

Ok, unpack that please!

For example, if I feel like sh#$,  I may have negative thoughts about myself, or blaming thoughts of others and go to “what’s the use”, “I might as well eat a box of donuts.” or give up and stay in bed.

When actually the doorway might be to… wait for it… feel what I actually feel without judging it with the mind.  It doesn’t have to mean anything.

And then, move to what the underlying need is to determine what behaviour might actually help to soothe you, help you or energize you.

What is this state asking for?

2 questions I teach people all the time that we have somehow been disconnected from asking are:

What do I feel?

What do I need?

And then give it time to come up from the body, the wealth of intelligence that you already contain that is far more vast, more wise and has so many more options than the mind will ever let you know. 

THIS is the way to wisdom. 

I’m going to leave it at that and go out to soak up the bit of sun I see, but I’ll be sending out the link soon for my first in-person workshop since Covid (the link might not be posted yet, you are first to know!) if you want to take the powerful practice of embodiment further and deeper with me. 

Trust me, you won’t regret it. (oops, don’t trust anyone but yourself, right?).

Take care of that body,

Madeleine

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