Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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From your Best Self to your Whole self


Have you ever woken up with a list of ‘shoulds’ that you really don’t feel like doing? Does anxiety hit you before you put your feet on the floor? Welcome to your ‘Best Self’. Our Bestie strives to meet demands of daily life with a level of anxiety behind it, driven by a list of what should be done, often leaving what feels right to be done out in the cold. There are always ‘things to be done’. Always, and that’s not a problem. It’s only a problem if you wake up wondering whatever happened to your passion, creativity, desires and goals that were fully aligned with ‘Who You Are’ aka, your Whole Self. 


Many times I have people enter my office feeling lost and confused. They wonder what happened to them, where did they go as life became auto-pilot driven and they lost themselves somewhere in the doing. Actually, it’s the anxiety, depression and pain that brings them in as it got in the way of completing the list of shoulds 🙂 Often it takes a crisis to wake up.


Recently I had some health scares that caused me to ask some very deep questions of myself. Thankfully after much investigation everything turned out well and I am clear, so I now have the opportunity to look at this like a gift.  Here is what I came up with… I intellectually knew this before, but now I feel I really know it:


  1. There were ‘shoulds’ that ‘should’ now be put to rest. Such as “I should do my physio exercises”. I haven’t yet, so chances are slim I will start now. Get rid of it. Have you got some of those?
  2. Honesty and transparency are key. Being in tune with oneself and expressing it seem to lead to further wholeness and peace. Emotions are simply facts in the moment, nothing more or less, and stuffing feelings lead to all sorts of other problems.
  3. Life works better when you bring your Whole Self to the table. Everything I have taught, researched and practiced has led to this. Never mind thoughts of what to do, how to do it or fear of what might happen. Breathe, be in your body, especially in stressful situations, and all will be well. Try it next time you feel anxious. If that’s all you did, that would be enough.
  4. Paying attention to yourself reduces tension.  So many people have been conditioned to believe this is selfish. However, the tension will keep nagging you until you acknowledge it. We know that the practice of placing your hand on your heart and breathing relaxes the nervous system. Why is that? I believe it sends the message of “I see you. I am listening.” to your Whole Self.
  5. Do what makes you feel happy everyday. Figure it out and do it. Writing this blog makes me happy!


Try it today. Just notice where you are trying to be someone other than yourself, where you are putting on a mask, or as Glennon Doyle Milton says “sending in your representative.” It’s tricky, we put parts of our Whole Self away a long time ago. It’s there, waiting patiently for you to arrive.


Have a great week everyone,



ps. Third and final video on anxiety coming out this week… stay tuned 🙂



2 thoughts on “From your Best Self to your Whole self”

  1. Thank you Madeleine– I so do need all these reminders and with them comes the opportunity to pass this on to others. I was away 5 weeks and can not find the first video (the second yes). Would it be possible to resend the first to my address again?? Thanks so if you can.


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