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Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Bad Things Happen When We Don’t See Each Other

Anger, shock, horror, disgust.. and also helplessness and compassion and a “How did this happen?” running through my mind and maybe your mind as well with not only the residential school system as a while, but the cruelty inflicted upon innocent children on their own. 

Having had the honour of walking with many survivors I have heard many stories of trauma and strength that will never leave me.

Please talk, write, yell or cry out whatever you feel. And reach out to express your support.

But then, it comes back home to perhaps a quiet house where you might ask: What can I do now?

Perhaps it is advocating for basic human right, clean drinking water, access to health care and adequate education or land rights. If you are fortunate enough to have these, then advocate on behalf of those that don’t.

But I am still left with the question “How do these things happen?”.

It’s not all out there, real change can only ever happen right here within you, within all of us. 

These things happen when we don’t truly see each other or ourselves.

If we are tuned in to ourselves, our body we know intuitively when something is not right or very wrong. This gut instinct has been tuned out of us as we rely more on the thoughts of the mind. 

If we are tuned into others, and truly see them as they are, we see the divine, beautiful and important souls that we ALL are.  

For one moment, if there was a connection with the true humanity inside a child, abuse would stop. 

We cannot hurt when we empathize.  Empathy is from the root “in” and “pathos” meaning feeling.  To be “in feeling” with someone. 

If we are “in feeling” with someone and hurt them, we hurt ourselves. Or feel appropriately guilty or ashamed afterwards. 

The only way the world can move forward in any way is “in feeling” and in order to feel someone we have to see them. Truly see them. 

Interestingly, empathy develops around 2 years of age after the development of self-awareness. 

In other words, to know others you need to be aware of yourself first. To be aware of yourself usually involves the reflection or mirroring of a caregiver. 

All this happens in relationship.

Don’t worry, empathy can also be learned as a skill later on.

Becoming aware of yourself, your body, your thoughts, feelings and judgements is crucial to inner and outer peace. 

Do you think dictators stop to notice their feelings and behaviour? NO. Or they simply would not proceed. 

Please, come join me in a free embodiment workshop where we find ourselves, our bodies, our true selves beyond the doing and actions and beliefs of others. 

It has to start here. 

The second part is to ask: Who am I not seeing? 

Do you really see your kids, your neighbour, your friend, the bank teller, the cashier, the bus driver, the teacher beyond the roles and identities you have prescribed to them? Beyond your own judgement?

Can you look into their eyes and see them in their inherent beauty, their right to be exactly as they are, in the battles they are fighting today, in their struggles and their dreams, just like you?

The truth is, we are so much more alike than different.

This my friends, is the work of a lifetime. But work well worth doing not only for the quality of our brief time here on earth, but for all those who suffer from the pain of not being seen. 

In sorrow and hope,

Madeleine

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7 thoughts on “Bad Things Happen When We Don’t See Each Other”

    • Thank you Madeleine, this is the work needed for a long time . The buck really stops here in this generation. We are collectively unearthing and extrapolating what was buried and trapped for so long . Just reading this , I already felt the gift of being seen . Thank you

      Reply

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