Hello Dear Readers,
Thank you for all the wonderful replies on my last few posts. I read every single one of them as connection with those interested in this path is integral to me and my work. And honestly, (theme of last post) if this does not align with you, please unsubscribe and don’t look back! As grown ups, we realize rejection as a part of life.
In fact, it can bring us one step closer to ourselves.
To live life without rejection, criticism and feedback is to not live fully. It leaves you in a place of avoidance and resentment and fear.
Don’t do this please! Resentment will eat away at you, seething underneath a mask, and it never, ever gets resolved.
There are 2 ways to approach resentment. You either have to process it fully on your own, or speak with honesty and love to the person who disappointed, hurt or rejected you of they are still living.
To process it on your own means to fully own it. To look at the facts, look at yourself, and observe with self-compassion, what childhood patterns rose in this situation for you. Was it taking things personally, avoidance, judgement, keeping quiet, not allowing your own truth, not feeling your own feelings, feeling disempowered to take action?
These patterns are debilitating and keep you stuck. Stuck in the mud of resentment.
The next is to fully
From the man who spent 27 years in prison and walked out free: “Resentment is drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.” Nelson Mandela
Ok, my Mother Bear is coming out now… if this is you, stop it.
I don’t want you to suffer with pain, tension, seething anger and depression. This is what I see in so many women, we have often been well-trained to suffer, to endure, to tolerate and not speak our truth.
Be truthful with yourself first. Notice what you feel under the resentment. What’s the flavour, what’s the theme? It is likely some version of being a victim. That’s ok, you can see it and heal it.
What emotions are there? Anger, sadness, disappointment, fear, abandonment. Allowing yourself to feel all of these is your birthright.
Feel it, breathe it and free flow journal those suckers out! There is SO much research to support this process of getting real with your own emotions as an antidote for chronic pain, illness, anxiety and depression.
In fact, I think it might be the underlying poison of this world: undigested emotions.
Truly own them in your body. Everything you want is on the other side of this. Freedom.
Next, if the person is living, send an invitation out to speak to them. (I have listened to many women holding resentment in their bodies for decades, sometimes long after the person is gone).
You see, many people have NEVER seen peaceful conflict resolution happen. Have you?
This means wading through the mud of difficult conversations to the other side.
Set your intention for the conversation. Then get curious about what might unfold. What are you missing?
What would you like to understand more?
“I’m curious…”, “I’m wondering..”, “I’m feeling…” are all good openers.
Stay the course. They might have some things to say that make you uncomfortable if they are open enough. be prepared, make sure you are well rested and nourished and keep in contact with your breath.
Your breath will take you through anything. Trust it.
How can you release that resentment today? Chances are it’s leaking out in other ways anyway, in avoiding, in thoughts, in rumination. Let it go today.
And if you want a clear path to releasing this toxic emotion, stay tuned for my next offering.
Time to clean up house, tend to your own garden, so new, exciting visitors can appear!
Lots of love,
Madelein
