Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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Are You Lost? Here’s How to Find Yourself

Today, right now… where are you?

Where are you, really?

It might sound like a silly question.. I am here, in my room, looking at my computer. 

Ah, yes, that is where your mind is focussed, but where is the rest of you?

At a time where many people are feeling like they’ve had enough.. of 2020, of COVID, of the latest election news, I ask.. how do you know you’ve had enough? How do you know you feel lost?

Because you feel. In your body. 

The mind just tries to encapsulate what the body is feeling and puts it into a nice neat box that now we are left to figure out. 

I am lost. 

I am stuck. 

I have had enough.

I am worried. 

Notice these are all things you feel in your body in this moment. 

But you are here. 

When we feel out of sorts in our body we begin to think that it’s not ok to feel this way, something is very wrong that needs to be fixed, figured out and solved. 

It is the resisting, judging, and contracting around what we feel that causes the problem. 

To be honest, the greatest disservice to humanity has been this disconnection from our bodies and the mind has been prioritized and left to “figure it out”. It is an impossible task and leaves us with..

  • anxious thoughts
  • a racing mind
  • rumination that never stops

The amazing and powerful mind hasn’t done a very good job in this department so far and to be fair, it has been trying very, very hard. 

So much research points to the fact that 80% of messages come from the body sensations up the brain and the rest from top down. 

But we have silenced, stifled, suffocated ourselves into believing we are “right” in our opinions and others are “wrong”. Again, the mind is trying very, very hard to help us. 

But we are left with a world of emotions globally and inside of us that are now exploding, acting out, releasing, in anger, fear, grief, terror, sadness and hostility towards others or turning inwards into depression, anxiety and illness. 

This is where the “us or them” mentally arises from that has been the root of all conflict, all war, all division. 

It starts in the body with feelings of anger, shame, being taken advantage of, exploited, fear, protection of self, of family, of country. 

All so human, so genuinely natural and evolutionarily important. 

But we are trying to solve the problem of the body with the mind and have disconnected from the very aliveness of our being. 

I woke up this morning in Vancouver, here to deal with the estate of a close friends passing away. Immediately my mind got to work…

Where do I start?

What will happen if…?

This is all new… I am lost.

The mind, attempting to solve the “problem” of the body.

What if I began, alternatively, to become aware of what my body needed, step-by-step, moment-by-moment, breath-by-breath without making my feelings a “problem”.

I noticed, rose, became unstuck by finding myself right here in the next thing that needs to be done, or not done. 

Home is always right here, in the body. 

What if we embraced this body we are in, let the feelings be ok, breathed and let go of resistance to feeling what we feel?

What if Donald Trump connected in with what he felt,  underneath the anger, the insecurity, the blame (a sure indicator of disconnection from the body)?

What if we all became true to what we actually feel and sense in our body and took full responsibility and surrender to that?

Feeling lost is ok. Where do you feel that in your nervous system. Breathe into that and start to move. 

Everyone I see with anxiety, pain and trauma is in the same place:

Disconnection from the body is disconnection from others and the world. 

Some bodies are more difficult to connect with. They have lifetimes of pain and stored survival stress to make friends with. They have grief, lots and lots of it. They have memories, stored in the tissues and bones that release with a violent force, or a gentle wave. 

Your body has intelligence beyond what you can know. But you are bigger than any secrets it stores and any emotions it contains. 

Are you feeling lost? 

Come home right now to the only place you can be found. 

In your breath, slow it down.

In your body, notice and sense it from the inside.

In this moment, look around and see what is actually true. Anything else right now is a thought, an idea.

Now move, towards what your body needs, what your body is telling you. To eat, drink water, go to the bathroom, get fresh air, go to work. 

Your body will lead you home. 

Every time. 

Take care of your body, dear friends, it needs you now more than ever.

Lots of love for you in your journey home,

Madeleine

4 thoughts on “Are You Lost? Here’s How to Find Yourself”

  1. Such an awakening post, thanks Madeleine.

    Your post confirm more what I have been feeling and doing for a while, listening to my body no matter what I am feeling . Go with it and let the body get the care and the attention is asking for so it can give it back.

    Thank you

    Reply
    • Awesome. I’m glad it resonated with your body , giving it that care is life changing both in what we say or think about our bodies and how we physically treat it.
      Take care,
      Madeleine

      Reply
  2. yes madeleine the intelligent of my body is profound. I have an agreement with my body — an agreement that is based on loving kindness. I have allowed myself lately to see the arrogance I hold with my good health. Somewhere in me I have a belief that I am one up on someone if I am healthier. Do you have any feedback for me in this area. Many thanks

    Reply
    • Hi Sheila, I love how you hav e connected with the innate intelligence of your body. The heart and gut brain are powerful transmitters. Also, that you can see the arrogance in yourself as a pattern. What we can see, we don’t have to be. I would ask… how can I define “healthier”? We cannot possibly rate someone else’s health, therefore we cant compare. Someone might look incredibly physically healthy but be a mess emotionally and spiritually, and vice versa. Love that part of you that tries to compare, even laugh at the futility of it’s attempts to feel one-up! Take care, Madeleine

      Reply

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