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Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

20 Things Pain Teaches Us

I don’t profess to have the answers.

I don’t think I know it all.

But I have noticed some consistent observations from sitting with people in pain and processing trauma for 25 years, and also through my own life experience, the greatest teacher of all.

  1. Pain can be the greatest teacher if we let it.
  2. Freedom is a process of letting go, rather than learning new skills.
  3. Moving through our false self is like peeling off the layers of an onion.
  4. Noticing negative thinking is worth looking at, not bypassing.
  5. Negative thoughts leads us to core negative beleiefs
  6. Our limiting beliefs are picked up through conditioning: family, societal, trauma.
  7. When we can see through, recognize and accept our conditioning, we see that it is not us. It is a lie.
  8. Below, or above all this mess is a ‘self’: the one that sees all this. Your true self.
  9. With the ‘letting go’ or rather ‘letting be’, a new dimension opens up. This dimension is an awareness, a feeling of love.
  10. True self is not judgemental. She knows pain. She develops a love and acceptance of all things and all people.
  11. Bad things, or ‘bad’ people are deeply unconscious and unaware of this dimension.
  12. We are of the same cloth: Any teaching that teaches fear, separation and judgement is not ‘truth’.
  13. No person is below or above another. No-one. When we judge, there is always a part of ourselves that is also like the other.
  14. Moving through pain is the path to freedom, not bypassing it. Don’t forget to get support!
  15. The world is a friendly place.
  16. Our lives are created by us.
  17. What we resist tend to get larger and keep visiting us. Be careful what you judge!
  18. Freedom comes from recognizing where it is we get ‘pinched’ and going there.
  19. Happiness never lies in things. Everything is impermanent and therefore will change. True happiness is an inside job.
  20. Our True Self is a beautiful, loving, limitless being that sees the love in others.

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