Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email
Share on linkedin

Who’s to judge?

I am writing to you today from sunny South Africa and believe me, there’s no better time to talk about Mindtrap #4 than when you are in a different culture. Have you ever had the experience of someone not returning your call or email for a longer time than you would like? What tends to go through your head…  that they are ignoring you or perhaps you have done something to offend them… then they call and tell you how they’ve been away or sooo busy with work.  Whatever it is, we spend a whole lot of time on this Mindtrap… Mindreading… and usually it’s a waste of time.


I remember a number of years ago being in a shop where the salesgirl was extra rude and extra impatient when I asked for help.. after all, that’s what they’re paid for isn’t it? After I checked out, huffing and puffing and vowing never to return, I gathered myself outside the store. There I overheard a couple of women talking and realized after a time that they were talking about the salesclerk… single mother… disabled child…. no support… how does she do it?  This conversation was meant for me to hear I thought. Ashamed, I was struck again by the mantra “Never assume you know what is going on for someone else. Ever.”  I judge. We all judge. Most often, our judgements are wrong. We can never guess from the millions of options what another person is thinking or what their life experience has been.


It brings to mind Don Miguel Ruiz’ 2nd agreement from his book ‘The Four Agreements’: Never take things personally. “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”  If you think about it, how we behave is based on so many things.. how much sleep we got, how we’re feeling, what our beliefs and personal histories are… how could we ever predict how someone else might think?


So, reading anyone’s mind lately? Expand your options, think “Maybe yes, maybe no”.

And remember…. Nothing is Personal… repeat… Nothing is Personal.












Madeleine's Most Recent Posts

Are You Resentful? Do This Right Away…

Hello Dear Readers,  Thank you for all the wonderful  replies on my last few posts. I read every single one of them as connection with those interested in this path is integral to me and my work. And honestly, (theme of last post) if this does not align with you,

Read More »

Honesty as Treatment for Pain and Suffering

“What’s wrong with a little white lie?”  You have probably heard that, or said it yourself. A little lie never hurt anyone. That might be true in some cases, and this is not a moralistic issue here, it’s a health issue.  We have ALL learned to lie. To ourselves, to

Read More »

The Journey of the Divine Feminine

As I enter my Crone years (a term used to describe the Queen who sits on her throne either in a cabin in the woods or in a castle or condo)  my focus is clearer on the journey that a woman takes during her short stint here on earth.  Feminine

Read More »

When I Gave Up..

Well, “gave up” is not quite accurate.  More like.. surrendered, sunk into the dep womb belly of my life in this moment, deep into my own body.  I embodied myself.  I wish I could say it was all sunshine and rose, but of course that was not the case.  There

Read More »

Subscribe For Peaceful Insights

Top Posts

Want To Know The Truth About Anxiety?

Madeleine’s Archived Posts