Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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When What you Accept, Persists

 

 

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I think the curious thing is that we often get stuck in the first part of this quote… sometimes that is enough, and it is a necessary step. However, where mindfulness can be grossly misunderstood is when we pause, we observe, we notice our thoughts without engaging with them…. and we think we don’t have the right to action.  Yes, mindfulness is acceptance of the present moment as it is, no denial, with all it’s pain and joy and discomfort and beauty. It does mean including what may have been left out, avoided or resisted, but still exists. But what if what we are accepting persists… does it mean to go back to resistance? No, it’s a starting point. You’re at the gate. Let me help clear this up …..

 

Mindfulness does not mean allowing what is not healthy or good for ourselves. We don’t allow ourselves to be doormats, or treat ourselves unfairly.  It can be pivotal in coming to accept with full clarity the impact of the situation, but from here we can choose how to respond, as opposed to react.  When we slow down the fight-or-flight knee-jerk reaction, we can respond in a way that is respectful of ourselves and others, from a place of love. Sometimes taking action in expressing feelings clearly is all that is needed. As we know, as much as we try we can’t seem to control other people! By the way, you may notice that most situations actually require no response.

 

A few good questions to ask yourself if the water gets muddy…….

What feelings does this situation bring up for me?  Be super clear…

Is this my responsibility or someone else’s? Takin’ on others again… lighten your load dear 🙂

How can I respond to this from a place of Love? Can’t go wrong there…

Do I need to sit with this a bit longer until it’s clear?

What do I really long for here? Is that an old unmet need??

 

Still clear as mud? Remember, we’re all human and there’s no manual for that.  All we can do is try with good intentions, know that your feelings are important and let go of the outcome.  That, we cannot control. Got a comment? Feel free to share it on Facebook..  Lovely week everyone.

 

“We can never make peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves”

Dalai Lama

 

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