Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email
Share on linkedin

Resistance is futile: Accept your experience

“When we argue with reality, we lose, but only 100% of the time” Byron Katie

 

How many times have you gone over and over something in your head that has already happened? How much time and energy has been spent on reliving something that “shouldn’t have happened”, but, in fact, did.  Or, perhaps there is a feeling you are experiencing, for whatever reason, that you “shouldn’t be feeling”.

Whenever we find we are feeling stressed, there is usually some part of us that is NOT ok with what IS happening. “Accepting our experience as it is” means just that; accepting our experience in the moment. If we are feeling frustrated, angry, or sad, accept that feeling. Don’t resist it, or wish it weren’t there; but let it in, become interested in how it feels. Many people have come to me as a therapist and said “I don’t want this feeling…”. I understand that, but creating resistance to it blocks the wealth of information that it might provide, and, ultimately, the healing that follows. My experience has been that the more we are able to just accept what is, the power of resistance subsides and somehow the feelings can then dissolve.

Often when discussing acceptance, people will ask ” But if I just let things be, am I accepting injustice, cruelty, my own depression.. isn’t it like giving up?” On the contrary, there are many situations that we should not tolerate, and each, in our own way, will be called to do what we can to improve things. But accepting what is, is always the first step. For example, one doesn’t leave an abusive situation until you can see that it is abusive.

From the starting point of acceptance (we don’t have to like it!) we can see more accurately and have an empowered response whether it is an action, forgiveness, letting go, or speaking up.  If there is no required response, then let it be…. it already is.

Think of something you are presently arguing with. Has it already happened? Is it already here? Ok, try letting it be and now see what your response is.

 

“What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is?”
Eckhart Tolle

 

 

 

Madeleine's Most Recent Posts

The Dark Night of the Soul

When I awoke this morning the sun was streaming in my window at our small cabin. Outside, the leaves were gently falling from the giant chestnut tree, wave were lapping at the shore and I could see a slight breeze was blowing.  This time of year is magical for me.

Read More »

Moving Through the Stuck Places

You were never meant to get it right. Like there is a right to get. You are created to be here, to live and breathe here, to love and be loved, to suffer and experience joy. And to let go of all you have learned that you should be. What

Read More »

A New Kind of Anger

Most of the women I work with who are stuck in people-pleasing mode, have difficulty expressing, or even locating the emotion of anger.  There is a link. A very important one.  Seeing as anger is a life-force energy designed to protect and alert the system that something is wrong, not

Read More »

How Do You Age Gracefully When You’re So Angry?

You don’t, is the short answer.  First of all, the phrase “aging gracefully” just pisses me off. Why? Because it sends a message that women are supposed to age in smooth, flowing, ballet dancer style.  Not the stop-and-start, messy, sometimes scary and angry and often hilarious way we live.  Oh

Read More »

Subscribe For Peaceful Insights

Top Posts

Want To Know The Truth About Anxiety?

Madeleine’s Archived Posts