Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email
Share on linkedin

Resistance is futile: Accept your experience

“When we argue with reality, we lose, but only 100% of the time” Byron Katie

 

How many times have you gone over and over something in your head that has already happened? How much time and energy has been spent on reliving something that “shouldn’t have happened”, but, in fact, did.  Or, perhaps there is a feeling you are experiencing, for whatever reason, that you “shouldn’t be feeling”.

Whenever we find we are feeling stressed, there is usually some part of us that is NOT ok with what IS happening. “Accepting our experience as it is” means just that; accepting our experience in the moment. If we are feeling frustrated, angry, or sad, accept that feeling. Don’t resist it, or wish it weren’t there; but let it in, become interested in how it feels. Many people have come to me as a therapist and said “I don’t want this feeling…”. I understand that, but creating resistance to it blocks the wealth of information that it might provide, and, ultimately, the healing that follows. My experience has been that the more we are able to just accept what is, the power of resistance subsides and somehow the feelings can then dissolve.

Often when discussing acceptance, people will ask ” But if I just let things be, am I accepting injustice, cruelty, my own depression.. isn’t it like giving up?” On the contrary, there are many situations that we should not tolerate, and each, in our own way, will be called to do what we can to improve things. But accepting what is, is always the first step. For example, one doesn’t leave an abusive situation until you can see that it is abusive.

From the starting point of acceptance (we don’t have to like it!) we can see more accurately and have an empowered response whether it is an action, forgiveness, letting go, or speaking up.  If there is no required response, then let it be…. it already is.

Think of something you are presently arguing with. Has it already happened? Is it already here? Ok, try letting it be and now see what your response is.

 

“What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is?”
Eckhart Tolle

 

 

 

Madeleine's Most Recent Posts

You Are a Powerful Connection

Before we had a name, there was an awake awareness. That was completely connected, did not know differences. Before we entered school, there was an alive, sensing being. Ready to play, learn and expand. Before we were categorized and compared, there was already a perfectly whole being. Before we realized

Read More »

Bad Things Happen When We Don’t See Each Other

Anger, shock, horror, disgust.. and also helplessness and compassion and a “How did this happen?” running through my mind and maybe your mind as well with not only the residential school system as a while, but the cruelty inflicted upon innocent children on their own.  Having had the honour of

Read More »

It’s Not Easy Being Sensitive These Days!

For sensitive people, shifts can feel monumental.  And it’s SO easy to get trapped in a worried, anxious mind.  But I think we’ve spent enough time there, haven’t we? Covid has asked our bodies to slow down, yet our minds keep racing into a fearful future or a non-existent past. 

Read More »

What is the Antidote to the Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn

No matter how much we might try and avoid difficulties and pain, the path of living involves not just the joyful and pleasant, but the painful and unpleasant problems as well.  Have you noticed that avoiding what might be in the path of your life can create resistance that shows

Read More »

Subscribe For Peaceful Insights

Top Posts

Want To Know The Truth About Anxiety?