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Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

What they don’t tell you on Facebook….

If you’re a Facebook user like I am, you have to stop and ask yourself if it makes you feel connected and better, or alone and inadequate. This may depend on the day, the posts, and what is happening in your own life. All good information…….


However, if you find yourself feeling less than enough because you are comparing your life to what others are doing on Facebook, consider the following: we only post what we want others to see. This is not dissimilar to seeing people face-to-face where we ask “How are You?” and answer “Good.” when we have actually had a horrendous week, hate life,  and feel like curling up and disappearing.


Here’s a hint: What you are comparing yourself to is unrealistic and superficial. How fair is that? And what a waste of time to have a point of reference that is actually unattainable!


Don’t get me wrong… I post the best photos of my family, my kids, my trips. But what you don’t see is…  just before that family photo how I yelled at my kids to stop fighting, just after that post how I had a huge fight with my husband and was the most un-mindful person I have ever met, just after that photo of me running a race like a superhero I didn’t run for 6 months because I injured myself……  and am I the only person who does this? Of course not, we all do.


We’re all human and being vulnerable is not one of our strong points. In fact it can be damn scary. The only problem with this is that being vulnerable connects us, brings us closer and lets us laugh at ourselves when we realize we’re all trying our best in this game of life together.  When we soften into who we really are, the good, bad and yes, even the ugly, we experience freedom and peace in our imperfection.


Aaaaah! How beautiful to be imperfect. It feels good and guess what… others love it too. We can’t know what to change if we don’t begin where we are………..


So how about you? Do you have a safe place or person where you can let you hair hang loose, your imperfections show and your ‘faults’ rise to the grimy, slimy surface?  If not, don’t fear, you’re still not alone… read Brene Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection”, or start by risking a little of yourself to someone and you will soon find a place to relax, even it’s just by your wonderfully imperfect self.


Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.”








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