Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email
Share on linkedin

Balance Being and Doing

“The problem in today’s corporate world, as well as in many other realms, is not hard work; the problem is insufficient recovery.” Ben Tal Shahar


I’m writing this to you from 36,000 feet en route to vacation with my family, along with many other folks off to holiday and get some rest, adventure and down time.

We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance, which to me has never made sense. It sounds as if we work our ‘life’ around our work, when actually work is a good portion of most people’s life. If it’s something we have to work around, it is a losing, stressful battle and if we are waiting until retirement, or “I’ll be happy when…” . Well….. happiness is a mindset. If you’re not finding it somewhere now, you’re not likely to find it 20 years from now.

I prefer to think of a balance of being and doing, both of which provide value both internally and outwardly to the world. We live in a world that mostly promotes doing… do more, fit more in, more apps., more money, or whatever the ‘goal’ is. However, if it’s not balanced by a grounding, resting return to self, it can get wildly off-balance and veer off course. It is in the returning home to yourself that connects with the ‘who you truly are’… what you truly want and desire to do and create.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe we need goals to inspire and areas to learn and improve upon. It’s just sad when they are not connected to us, but rather an idea of what we ‘should’ be doing. I have found that a lot of people find disconnecting from doing creates anxiety, therefore leading to avoidance and more doing! In the space of being arises all kinds of beliefs such as “I’m not doing enough” which is a disguise for “I’m not enough”. If we’re not enough when we are just being ourselves just as we are without the distraction of doing, chances are there’s a faulty drive in your motor, steering you blindly in the direction of aimless doing like a hamster on a wheel.

I have spent a good many years in over-doing, and more recently increased time in being. Am I less productive? No, exactly the opposite. Being promotes efficiency as we move with more peace and clarity, not wasting precious energy on ‘shoulds’, faulty beliefs, dissatisfaction or paths that don’t fit. Is it easy? No, I am constantly pulled like everyone into doing, and weeks go by out of balance, but being remains waiting patiently for me to arrive. It is in the being that we discover true doing.

Apparently there is great benefit in daydreaming, resting and of course a multitude of health benefits to meditation. If we think of children, how can they find out who they truly are, where their passions and desires and creativity lie if they are always occupied with busy-ness? Same goes for adults….

So how about you? Do you get anxious when the doing stops? Stop and see what arises in that space. Are you making time to find ease through rest, sitting, walking, or other activity that doesn’t involve constant striving? Where do you come home to connect to your true self as the starting point for doing? Maybe there is a way to build being into your day…. for real balance.

Keep calm and rest my friends. Have a good week.






Madeleine's Most Recent Posts

The Dark Night of the Soul

When I awoke this morning the sun was streaming in my window at our small cabin. Outside, the leaves were gently falling from the giant chestnut tree, wave were lapping at the shore and I could see a slight breeze was blowing.  This time of year is magical for me.

Read More »

Moving Through the Stuck Places

You were never meant to get it right. Like there is a right to get. You are created to be here, to live and breathe here, to love and be loved, to suffer and experience joy. And to let go of all you have learned that you should be. What

Read More »

A New Kind of Anger

Most of the women I work with who are stuck in people-pleasing mode, have difficulty expressing, or even locating the emotion of anger.  There is a link. A very important one.  Seeing as anger is a life-force energy designed to protect and alert the system that something is wrong, not

Read More »

How Do You Age Gracefully When You’re So Angry?

You don’t, is the short answer.  First of all, the phrase “aging gracefully” just pisses me off. Why? Because it sends a message that women are supposed to age in smooth, flowing, ballet dancer style.  Not the stop-and-start, messy, sometimes scary and angry and often hilarious way we live.  Oh

Read More »

Subscribe For Peaceful Insights

Top Posts

Want To Know The Truth About Anxiety?

Madeleine’s Archived Posts