Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

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Are you a hardaholic?

I am strong because I’ve been weak. I am fearless because I’ve been afraid. I am wise because I’ve been foolish.”

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Do you find yourself buying into the story of “this is really hard” just a little too often? Chances are, you may have become a hardaholic. This term comes from Alan Cohen’s book ‘Enough Already’ and I think it aptly describes a default mode that we can all fall into. There is no doubt that life can be hard sometimes, and if we look at the world recently, ‘hard’ is an underestimation for many people.

If this sounds like you, you might be making things “harder” unknowingly!  When you hear yourself randomly categorize your life, or your day as “hard”, try this:

1) Inquire as to whether it really is hard. It just might be!   2) If so… Ask yourself what’s really hard about it.

Now for the best part. You know I’m going to ask you to take action!

3) What would make it easier? For example, stopping procrastination? inviting acceptance? Taking control? Taking a nap?  Taking a breath? Having a difficult conversation? Standing up for yourself? Rescheduling?

The more you can work through difficulty, the less anxious and ‘hard’ it will be. Try it and see. Oh, and don’t forget, you are always in charge of your reactions and how you respond to your life, so choose to make it easier, you won’t regret it.  Good luck and have a good week!

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