Author picture

Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Are expectations getting you down?

When we let go of who we think we should be, we allow ourselves to be who we are.

 

… and the same goes for other people. Have you ever been in a situation where others expected you to feel, behave or speak like them?  How did that feel?  Probably not true to you, and sometimes may have made you want to do the opposite, just because. 🙂

 

How many times do we expect of others a certain outcome. Notice… “He should/she shouldn’t” “Why don’t they….. aren’t they….. nicer, better listeners, on time, better parents, bring me flowers, more interested in this, less interested in that, more compassionate, less judgemental.  In fact, we put a lot of weight on assumptions behind others’ behaviour based on our own worldview, that they may be completely unaware of. “If they loved me they would…”,  “A good boss should…” etc. etc. Often, we are not aware of our own assumptions, but we know there’s something up when we are irritated. What strings have you attached to how others respond to you?

 

It turns out that everyone else on this planet is different than you in many, many ways. When we let go of our expectations of them, it allows them to be who they are, but better yet, it allows you to be in connection, in relationship with them as they are, without the cloudiness of judgement. Of course, there are times to make requests, let your feelings be known, or end relationships that are not serving you. But, perhaps, for those that are in your life, examine how over the years you may have expected them to be someone other than who they are. Let it go and see what happens. Be very aware of your own thoughts and feelings and see if it’s something worth investigating, or letting go.  Aaaah… relief.

 

motivational inspirational love life quotes sayings poems poetry pic ...

Madeleine's Most Recent Posts

Key #5: Loving Yourself Back to Life at Midlife

Let love be my first and last stop on this journey. And may I find as many moments of love as I can in between.   I always thought self-love was over-rated. I thought, what about all our other emotions, our anger, our rage and shame? They count too! I

Read More »

The Cure for Anxiety is Creativity

Creativity does not mean you have to take up painting! Anxiety is a form of fear that comes in many disguises.  Thoughts that something bad is going to happen.  Crushing chest tightness and shortness of breath. A mind that projects into the future with all the “what-ifs” that likely will

Read More »

Awakening Aliveness at Midlife: Key #4

So far we have been diving in with the first 3 keys to see that our aliveness lives deep inside us, in our own alive bodies. The first 5 keys take us inwards to see what has not been allowed to surface in our external lives so far and has

Read More »

Finding Your Aliveness at Midlife: Key #3

You are not a problem to be fixed, you are a human to hold.  These words came to me years ago when I battled with anxiety and fought against symptoms like a warrior going to battle.  I realized that the answer to inner peace lay not with fighting what was

Read More »

Subscribe For Peaceful Insights

Top Posts

Want To Know The Truth About Anxiety?

Madeleine’s Archived Posts