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Madeleine Eames

- Psychotherapist
- Mindfulness Teacher

Are expectations getting you down?

When we let go of who we think we should be, we allow ourselves to be who we are.

 

… and the same goes for other people. Have you ever been in a situation where others expected you to feel, behave or speak like them?  How did that feel?  Probably not true to you, and sometimes may have made you want to do the opposite, just because. 🙂

 

How many times do we expect of others a certain outcome. Notice… “He should/she shouldn’t” “Why don’t they….. aren’t they….. nicer, better listeners, on time, better parents, bring me flowers, more interested in this, less interested in that, more compassionate, less judgemental.  In fact, we put a lot of weight on assumptions behind others’ behaviour based on our own worldview, that they may be completely unaware of. “If they loved me they would…”,  “A good boss should…” etc. etc. Often, we are not aware of our own assumptions, but we know there’s something up when we are irritated. What strings have you attached to how others respond to you?

 

It turns out that everyone else on this planet is different than you in many, many ways. When we let go of our expectations of them, it allows them to be who they are, but better yet, it allows you to be in connection, in relationship with them as they are, without the cloudiness of judgement. Of course, there are times to make requests, let your feelings be known, or end relationships that are not serving you. But, perhaps, for those that are in your life, examine how over the years you may have expected them to be someone other than who they are. Let it go and see what happens. Be very aware of your own thoughts and feelings and see if it’s something worth investigating, or letting go.  Aaaah… relief.

 

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