Comparison to others can be crippling. With the help of social media, it is at an all-time high and the results are high teenage suicide rates, increased depression and feeling not good enough. Like you just don’t rate quite as highly as the next person.
Comparison can kill your dreams, your joy and your ambitions and separate us from others. Or it can lift you up to places you never thought you would reach, but more about that later.
“The reason why chronic comparison is so debilitating is because deep down you know that you are unique and that you are meant to do great things.” Mastin Kipp
You are unique. There is no-one exactly like you and this is a good thing. You’re not supposed to be doing what others do, or liking what others like. You’re supposed to be doing what You do. Stay in your own backyard.
Others suffer too. Others have insecurities and fears and feelings of ‘not-enoughness’, but you won’t see this on Facebook. I find in my group classes where people get vulnerable and talk about real issues, it brings the group together, joined at the hip by our humanity.
The only person you ever have to be is you. *Sigh of relief*. If you ‘should’ do it, do it for yourself, not because someone else is doing it.
I once met a woman in New York who came into the room glowing, She was big, round and happy, in contrast to what you see on the front of those dreadful magazines. She carried herself with a confident, quiet humility, so clearly happy in her own skin, enthused with her conversations, overjoyed to be there. She made an impression just by her presence in herself. You could feel her comfort with herself and it drew people to her. You might recall people you have met like that.
If you think you might suffer from looking outwards for happiness, from comparison or codependence, ask yourself the following questions:
How much time do you spend worrying about others? Thinking about what others are doing?
How much time do you spend trying to control or change others?
How much time do you spend doing things you feel obligated to do, that you’d rather not.
If you are surprised by the answers, don’t be. It’s so common to look outside for our own peace and then we lose ourselves in our jobs, our roles, our kids, expectations of others.
Every conversation, every blog I write, brings me back to this very place. Helping others to shine in all their greatness, moving through fears that keep you small and in pain, and excavating the person you may have left behind years ago.
Start now by exploring the following questions to find out what your own true spark is:
- What makes you truly happy?
- What do you do that you lose yourself in?
- What makes you angry or breaks your heart?
Sit with these questions, don’t let the mind jump to find the ‘right’ or ‘known’ answers. Listen with your gut. Your answers might surprise you.
I have a special offering coming up that combines everything that I know to help you move in this direction. I hope you will join me on Saturday April 8th from 1:30-3:30pm for “From your Best Self to your Whole Self.” It’s the only direction to go to show up as Your best.
Until then, be yourself and keep it real,
Madeleine
